This is good

How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her, *definitely* got that one done
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.

Well I've bloody got that covered!!

How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.

*looks around expectantly*